Apple 14889's blog

Sometimes I question my rationale behind working so hard...Just saying.

#350

I realise I am a pretty nice person after all!

For not wanting to hurt some people real bad even though they have caused pain to me.

#348

I watched silently as you walk away from my side towards the summer sun.

So suddenly an unknown pain overwhelmed my heart

I'm sure this discomfort wasn't here yesterday.

If only I can throw away my pride and come clean, 

you might stay by my side a little longer.

You watched me from afar as tears rolled down my cold cheeks.

You smiled thinking the harsh sunlight is the cause,

and walked farther away from me after waving a final goodbye.

If only you can hear my heart whispering please stay with me... 

will you come straight into my arms?

#347

Pastor's 9/11 bonfire plan sparks uproar

I thought building a mosque near ground zero is insensitive enough. Burning Quran beats it all. Whatever happened to world peace that all the beauty queens talk about so 'passionately'? I guess those bs didn't move anyone's heart in the first place.

What really upsets me is that the person who is initiating this ridiculous move is a pastor, who is supposed to set a good example to his fellow companions as a leader. It is not as though he is a nobody who writes on his dissatisfaction on Facebook. (Anyway, what's with all the burning?! First that YOG news and now this... -.-)

I'm also disturbed by the fact that this pastor does not know anything about Islam and didn't even make the attempt to understand the religion. Well, isn't he just like the terrorists who refuse to understand the Westerners because of their mere pride and ignorance and, especially, ego?

This obviously will incite violence amongst people - even those who used to be tolerant and respectful of the various religions. And tell me, how can anyone NOT associate fire burning (and carrying pistol) with violence? So much for wanting this act to not lead to violence huh?

#346

I wrote this when I was ten:

"My stupid plastic brother is acting on the wooden stupid stage with his metal stupid classmates. My stupid brother is NOT A GOOD CONDUCTOR OF ELECTRICITY. So, if I were to put electricity on the stage, my stupid bother and stupid stage will not be electrocuted BUT my stupid bother's stupid classmates will be electrocuted."

I was such a creative kid, and still am! ;) 

Found this diary post when I came across my old diaries.

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A total of 13 diaries were unearthed from the junk in my room, with lots of foolish and ambitious thoughts and hopes penned in them. This includes a cheesy letter to The Future Boyfriend (which I wrote when I was 12 after reading one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. There were a few more diaries but I guess I threw them away. Oh my, they all went through so much! 

I'm thinking of starting a time capsule with the huge box my friends gave me last Fri (MY PRECIOUS PRESSIES!!! =) Self-note: To blog about 21st birthday. =D). 

#345

Sometimes I should take some time off and look around me. It doesn't matter whether I understand or not, but knowing what goes on will make life, at the very least, even more beautiful. 

One of my lecturers posted a note on his FB and reading it is a gift on this Sat night.

I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk or your life on a bus or in a car or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but also your soul.

 

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.

 

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and them to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre, at my job if those other things were not true.

 

You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon or found a lump in your breast?

 

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.

 

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.

 

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the colour of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

 

I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face.

 

Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.

Sometimes it all seems so easy, but just when you put your foot forward, you realise how very tough the journey would be. But, as the days go by and as long as you keep putting your foot forward, even an inch forward every day, I'm convinced that life would not seem like a chore anymore but a precious gift that you never want to let go. And when the end approaches, you will eventually let go thinking that I've treasured this for very long with love that it is time to return it to the one who blessed me with this opportunity thankfully.

Oh yes, life is beautiful. =)

#344

I don't feel quite right. It is as if I am helplessly trying to stop the rain from falling. It is pointless but my heart carries a strong undying hope that I can do it, and when the rain eventually falls on me, I feel cheated and powerless.

Lately I have been running out of time. Like the speed of an airplane, time is dashing past me. Time can never stop. This is a new feeling that I am embracing to understand. So that I won't end up hurt and tearful... And I might just start appreciating life and its mysteries.

And guess what is the worst/best part of it all - I am cast adrift in a series of people's actions that I can't interpret and I have no idea whether I am enjoying this game. 

I was left confused when a girl hesitated to tell her love for a man she likes. How clueless I was then, to not notice that love is fragile. And that the human heart innately yearns for some form of unheard, unseen force of nature to guide them through life.

Last night, I had a thought: As I grow older, life is not only about myself; the people around me affect me as much. It is strange that I am now relying on people more than when I was younger. Why does the heart get weaker as the day pass by?

And it takes no time to fall in love

But it takes you years to know what love is 

And it takes some fears to make you trust

It takes those tears to make it rust

It takes the dust to have it polished...

- Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz

Jason Mraz - Life is Wonderful @ Ootmarsum

#343

I'm just not in the mood to do anything at work right now, but I have way too many things to do, so allow me to be pleasantly distracted before I plunge back to the endless dark hole.

Check out the 10 Most Bizarre World Records: http://news.xin.msn.com/en/silverlight-gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=4258364

The most heavily tattooed lady looks like a character from Avatar.

Okay, this is such a lifeless post. I'm just tired and I don't particularly like this feeling.

#342

Oh, before I forget (like how so much forgotten time has passed), hello August. Is this really the month I was living for all these years? It doesn't feel so. Yet, i hope.

#341

“I am the product of a society that attaches prestige to the ownership of cutting-edge electronic good and I am far from immune to its influence.” – Gary Hayden